Agape love is chaste and patient, and does not demand for any form of reciprocation. Lee added that agape love is easier to feel for all humanity in general than for an individual. This is almost like saying that it is impossible for a person to feel unconditional love for a certain someone. Now let us take another psychological look at love, this time from the point of view of Robert J.
He came up with the Duplex Theory of Love, called as such because it is comprised of two theories, which were used to be treated separately — the Triangular Theory of Love and the Theory of Love as a Story. According this theory, love has three aspects manifested by three components that react and interact with each other. The interaction of these three components can come in various combinations, with one or two aspect being more pervasive than the others, and vice versa.
The varied combinations of the components result in eight kinds of love:. Humans are naturally observant, and they easily draw conclusions from those observations, so they take all the things that they learn about love in all the stories they are exposed to, and they start to mentally draw a picture of what love is. Thus, when they start to look for love for themselves, or seek partners, they use that picture they drew in their head as a basis or standard.
For example, a young woman grew up in a loving family, with parents that do not hesitate to express their affection for each other. She was raised reading fairy tales, with stories of princesses living happily ever after with their respective princes. As an adult, she also witnessed her older siblings making great matches in their marriages and watched as they started their own families. All these painted in her mind the image of love being associated with shared laughter and loving smiles, warm hugs and soft caresses, and bright airy homes with white picket fences.
This is her notion of love. Compare that to a teenage girl who grew up reading young adult books featuring fantastical creatures such as vampires and werewolves fighting over a human girl, or handsome fallen angels coming to earth to save a damsel in distress. In her mind, love is when a mysterious and incredibly great-looking man appears in front of her and sweeps her off her feet. Culture, media, and experiences shape how we come to define and understand love.
Often, we make our own stories, which gives us carte blanche to come up with our own definitions of what love is, or what it should be. Knowing those three components and being able to identify them in the realities of your relationships will help you identify what kind of love it is. The million dollar question is: How will all this knowledge help us, personally, in loving others, and having them love us back? Here are some points for consideration:.
Are you someone that is easy to love? What do you have that will attract other people? What about you will grab their interest and draw them to you? On the other hand, what are you looking for in a person you will love?
What do you expect from loving these people? What future do you envision? And what kind of love are you capable of? Incidentally, what types of love have you experienced and applied in the past? This is basically your mental image of what you want in a potential relationship. In an example of a Personal Lovemap by relationship expert Rachel A.
Sussman, the factors considered were biological, cultural, social and psychological. But your lovemap can be something that is purposefully designed with a potential love interest in mind.
And it does not have to be set in stone, either. Your lovemap should be a checklist that contain the basics, which means they are the minimum requirement that must be met in order for that person to be considered for your loving.
You cannot possibly show your love when you are not present, can you? That person has to know that you exist, and that you plan on being a constant presence around him. You want to show him that you plan on sticking around, and he can count on you being there for him. Along with this, however, is you demonstrating that you still respect his personal space.
There are distances that are not meant to be crossed, even between two people already in a relationship, unless they agreed to do away with those lines. Show that you are still capable of respecting their personal space even while you are sticking close. This is often a problem among couples and those in loving relationships, even when they have been in these relationships for a long time. They do not let the other know how they feel. Often, they assume that, since they are already in a relationship, loving each other is already a foregone conclusion.
Guess what? Some people still need reassurance. Some people still appreciate being told that they are loved. And some people actually deserve to be told that they are loved. As much as we would want our partners to be mind-readers, it is most likely that they are not. No matter how secure you both are in your relationship and love for each other, it is still encouraged to let them know about it. Maybe not in so many words, but in actions — whether big or small. A soft touch, a warm smile, a short note, and even a single bloom plucked from the garden can speak volumes.
Maybe you can even make him or her your top priority. One way of expressing your love is to show how important they are to you. That they are a huge consideration in your major and minor decisions. That you cannot make a decision without taking into account how it will affect them. This is also an indication of your level of commitment to that person. Now, how can you make them love you back? This may require some mind manipulation on your part.
Having your lovemap or checklist of criteria is not enough. According to relationship coach John Alex Clark , getting the basic information about the background and interests of that person will enable you to meet their criteria.
First of all, doing your research demonstrates your level of interest in that person, and that alone may get them to look at you with mirrored interest. Those 36 questions can increase your chances of making somebody fall in love with you according to some scientific experiments. All the research you did earlier will come in handy. Take a look at a typical high school scenario, where the cheerleading team approaches the new girl in school, befriends her and recruits her to join them after a random ground performance enabled her to show off her dancing skills.
That is because they saw in the new girl something that their team needs: new blood and new talent. You can apply the same principle here. Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated?. Philos Psychiatr Psychol. PLoS One. The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate. Front Psychol.
Leonti M, Casu L. Ethnopharmacology of Love. Front Pharmacol. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data.
We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. Liking vs. Compassionate vs.
Color Wheel Model. Triangular Theory. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.
Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Related Articles. Triangular Theory and the 7 Types of Love. What Is Fearful Avoidant Attachment? During the s, U. Senator William Proxmire railed against researchers who were studying love and derided the work as a waste of taxpayer dollars. Despite early resistance, research has revealed the importance of love in both child development and adult health. Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter. PLoS One.
Karandashev V. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. Rubin Z. Lovers and Other Strangers: The Development of Intimacy in Encounters and Relationships: Experimental studies of self-disclosure between strangers at bus stops and in airport departure lounges can provide clues about the development of intimate relationships.
American Scientist. Marital status and risk of cardiovascular diseases: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Marital status, health and mortality. Is relationship quality linked to diabetes risk and management? Fam Syst Health. The interventional effects of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions and interpersonal interactions. Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat. Freud S. The Freud Reader. New York: W. Winston R, Chicot R. The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children.
London J Prim Care Abingdon. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data.
We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. What Is Love? How Do You Know?
0コメント